We came to play

Tigers aren't scary -- fluffathon fic for fodian

2007-09-10T05:07:36Z

Fluffathon entry for fodian who requested:

Name or LJ name: fodian

Pairing and/or character requested: Kid!Connor and Angel as well as any other members of the AI team that the writer wants to throw in to the mix.
Up to three things you would like included in your story: Angel teaching Connor how to do something, Connor referring to himself in the third person as "The Destroyer" (i.e., "The Destroyer wants an ice cream cone!), very serious conversations about very silly topics.
Up to three things you would not like in the story: Smut, inappropriate touching, Connor getting seriously injured (even if it ends up all right).
Rating preference: G - PG.

Characters: the AI gang, Kid!Connor
Setting: Halloween, 2007. Obvs, Connor didn’t go to Quar Toth…
Summary: There are some things only a Dad knows.
Title: Tigers aren’t scary.

I hope you like this, Fod!

“I don’t want to wear that! No no no No no no!” Connor’s shrieks could be heard all over the hotel. Fred and Gunn, downstairs working at the front desk, looked at each other and sighed.

“Your turn to go check on them,” Gunn said, pushing himself across the floor in his chair, spinning on its wheels. “I was up there last night, during the Great Bubble Bath Battle. I knew Angel would regret giving Connor a choice – I told him, just buy one type, then he won’t want to pick!”

“Oh no, I was the one who had to go out and find the bubble bath of choice last night. That puts me ahead in terms of dealing with those two. You, mister, are gonna have to go up there and explain to Angel about costume contests!” Fred pulled the giant tome of demonology back across the desk, clearly ready to settle in for the long haul.

“There is no way that balances out! You owe me – “ Gunn was cut off as a half dressed six year old came hurtling down the main staircase, followed closely behind by Wesley and Angel, who were in turn followed by Cordelia, who was carrying Connor’s Halloween costume.

“I am Connor! I am The Destroyer! I am not gonna be a TIGER! I WANNA BE A VAMPIRE!!!” Connor was running back and forth across the lobby, face contorted in fury as he screamed. Angel sank down onto the round couch, shaking his head.

“I just don’t think it’s very healthy! He shouldn’t think of vampirism as something he can just take on and off!” He seemed to be at the end of his rope; of course, Angel sounded that way during the end of most confrontations with Connor.

“Angel, just let him be a vampire! He won’t even let me get near him with the tiger make up!” Wesley had started to chase Connor around the couch where Angel was slumped – Connor was proving just as wily as he had been in the supermarket when Wesley had taken him to buy the Halloween candy.

“It’s just that – the teeth. They look so silly! I don’t want my son wearing something so ridiculous! He should have pride in his heritage, not think that vampires have teeth that can glow in the dark!”

“Angel, his heritage is death and torture! I think a little bit of glow in the dark dental wear would be good for him, you know?” Cordelia reached down and snagged Connor by the back of his jeans as he darted around her. Holding the wriggling kid up to eye level, she spoke in her sternest, you-may-be-the-cutest-kind-in-the-world-but-I’mCordelia-Chase voice: “Connor. I know you want to win the costume contest, and we all want that for you too. It’s a really big deal! But you can’t just walk out there unprepared! You have to make sure that you have everything you need – you have to have all the right supplies, the right clothes. And you can’t do it on your own – you know that. You need us to help you! So calm down and let us do that!”

Connor stopped struggling and looked her in the eye, his cheeks flushed from his recent exertions. He nodded.

“Ok, but I wanna be a vampire, ok? Tigers aren’t scary at all! And I’m The Destroyer! If I go to school in a stinky old tiger costume that Uncle Wesley made for me, Billy Jones won’t believe that I’m The Destroyer, and then I won’t win!”

Tears were threatening to make an appearance; whether sincere or not, Fred couldn’t tell. But she figured it was time to do what she could to stem the tide – Angel was no good against any type of Connor tears, whether real or faked. (And boy, could that kid fake tears! Fred was not so secretly in awe of his skill – all Angel had to do was tell him they were out of Snappy Sugar Frosted Cubes and Connor’s lips would start to tremble and his eyes would fill and then Fred would find herself sent out the store, rushing and running.)

“Hey, Connor, look what I picked up for you! I got you some fake blood!” Fred held out the packets as she walked over to Connor, who was now standing in front of Cordelia, sniveling and sniffling. She bent down and showed him the red tubes.

Before Connor could take them, Angel had jumped up, crossed the lobby and grabbed the fake blood out of Fred’s hands.

“No! The glow in the dark teeth were bad enough, but fake blood? This is just making a mockery out of everything I am!”

“Angel,” said Cordelia, placing a calming hand on his arm as Connor wound himself back up into his tantrum, circling them with screams of “No tiger no tiger no tiger!”, “Angel, I really think you should just let this go. It’s not that big a deal!”

“Not that big a deal? Cordy, he wants to wear teeth made out of plastic. That glow and then fake blood? It’s just – it’s so wrong!”

Cordy put her hands on Angel’s shoulders. She gave him almost the same look she’d given Connor, only this one was making the recipient turn away in fear – Connor, of course, had no such fear, as he was The Destroyer.

“Angel – he’s going to be a vampire for Halloween. He’s going to wear the teeth, and he’ll have a cape with a collar that stands up and fake blood dribbling out of his mouth. He’ll win the costume contest and then you can take him out trick-or-treating. It’s going to be ok!”

“But Cordy – I don’t have a cape with a collar. And my teeth don’t glow in the dark! I can’t compete with a Halloween vampire!”

Connor had stopped screaming – Wesley had found the glow in the dark teeth somewhere and Connor was now sporting some very plastic looking teeth. He looked over at Angel and started huffing and snarling.

“Dad – how can I growl?” Connor had to take his teeth out of his mouth to make his request and Angel, it was clear to see, was touched.

“Growl? I can show you how to growl, son! I’ll teach you how to growl so well, Billy’ll never doubt that you’re The Destroyer!”

“Well,” Wesley said to no one in particular, “I think tigers are scary…”

Why ARE my feet so cold?

2007-08-11T03:11:07Z

The Canadian Complaints Choir -- a few months ago I linked to the Helsinki Complaints Choir. Now I find that Barbara Budd from As It Happens has had a Canadian Complaints Choir done! VERY awesome.

globalfruitbat @ 2007-08-07T18:51:00

2007-08-08T01:54:50Z

Testing -- another try at posting to JF, GJ, IJ and LJ at once. It only worked on IJ last time -- will it work now?

globalfruitbat @ 2007-08-07T18:50:00

2007-08-08T01:54:06Z

Phooey and Fic!

2007-08-06T23:19:56Z

Didn't work cross-posting, so I'll just do the linking thing for now.

This is for alixtii for the femslash minis ficathon on LJ

Title: Tin Can Depository
Pairing: Dawn/Vi
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Vi knows things about Dawn, things she might be willing to care for.

Dawn is on her knees, face buried between Vi’s legs. Vi is a painting, a sculpture, a goddess, a work of art, a girl who belongs on a pin up calendar in knee socks and a flirty little skirt. Dawn says that to her that all the time. She thinks Vi, with her silly hats and goofy sweaters, long legs wrapped up and over Dawn’s shoulders, is the most beautiful thing ever, the sexiest girl ever to walk the earth.

Vi is not fooled. She knows a lot of stuff about Dawn, and yeah, it’s hard to think about while that same person is rubbing her nose on Vi’s clit and licking her in and out like someone’s going to tell her to stop, but Dawn doesn’t really think Vi’s the best. It’s nice to hear and it’s nice of Dawn to say, but Vi’s not really lacking in esteem. She’s a freaking superhero. She kills crap with her bare hands – like, as a usual thing.

And it was really nice to have someone to share a room with and to talk to who had read the same books and knew about being tall and gangly – they are almost the same height. They even have legs the same length, which means that after one awesome evening spent with a measuring tape that they found in one hotel room or another they stopped buying pants without each other.

But Dawn doesn’t really think that stuff about Vi. She likes to have sex with her, she likes to clamber into the motel showers and press Vi up against the wall, all slippery and warm, rubbing her leg in between Vi’s until they are both so light headed that Vi has to use Slayer Strength to hold them up, she likes Vi to hold her down, her fingers pressing Dawn’s hips hard into the mattress wile Vi fucks her, fucks Dawn with her mouth, but she doesn’t think Vi is a goddess.

She thinks Vi is a hot girl who reminds Dawn a little of the first girl Dawn ever had the hots for, a girl who also had red hair and goofy hats. Dawn had a crush on Willow for a long time, until Willow erased everyone’s minds and they all forgot about Dawn. Dawn hates to be forgotten, left behind, even if it’s just forgetting to order her a drink like she asked. Most of Dawn is in those people’s head and they let stuff happen to those memories and Dawn falls away.

Vi knows lots about Dawn. She knows that when all the memories came back, Dawn wondered if maybe some stuff was left behind with the spell, like she was changed. And Vi knows that right now, even while Dawn is going down on her, and poking her head up to grin at Vi and tell her how hot she is, Dawn doesn’t really mean it. Maybe though, Vi’ll stick around and make her mean it.

Maybe Vi’ll make her see that Dawn can stop trying to put pieces of herself into everyone else, like hiding her money in tin cans in the back yard. Maybe Vi will give Dawn one safe place that no spell is going to take away, a safe place to make memories that weren’t thought up by monks, stolen and then shoved back in all crazy by some witch.

Or maybe Vi will just let Dawn keep doing what she’s doing, see how long it takes for Dawn to figure it all out. She’s supposed to be the smart one, after all.

Does this work?

2007-08-06T23:07:01Z

Using Semagic to post to LJ, IJ, GJ and JF at the same time -- I really don't want to go anywhere, but I know a lot of my fandom friends are heading out. I'm not happy with LJ right now, and I want to be part of fandom. I'm thinking what's probably going to happen is I'll be posting my fic (when I [rarely]post it) at my IJ (and I'm the same username everywhere -- friend me!) and linking it here.